Even had that feeling when you find out that someone who you thought was a friend of yours, has actually betrayed you in the most horrible, worst way they possibly could've?
Yeah i got that today. oh man it sucked.
I got sexually harrased twoish years ago. i have forgiven the guy who did it, and gotten over it. like, i mean, its not important to just keep living on that one thing that was bad. so imma get over it. i will never trust him again.. anyway. i had like, 2 best friends. Harikoa and Max. I told them about it first cause you know, thats what you do.
I found out today, that max had told another friend of mine that he was 'in on' the whole sexual harrasment thing. He told my friend this a year ago and she decided not to tell me cause i didn't need to know, and i don't really talk to max very much anymore. but today, she said somethig about him and i was defending him, and she decided to tell me cause she didn't want me to make a fool out of myself, by defending someone who clains to have helped someone sexually harass me.
Now, my friend and i, we both know that Max likes to tell lies. So i think that maybe Max lied about it to my friend or something. but even thats bad enough. why would you do that? why? im just sooo incredibly hurt. and so depressed and down and everything. the people i have told about it are just like "oh, well that sucks.. anyway.." i have comfort from ben but i dunno. i fell so betrayed and hurt and its horrible. i dunno how i am going to continue going to class with him without loosing it.
i mean, to think that i ranted about it to him, confided in him and told him how i felt about the whole thing, and to have talked to him about all the problems i was going through at that point in my life, and now to know that he was all a part of it.. it just hurts me so much. its so horrible.

Life sucks.

everyone laughs, "another one bites the dust"

its not funny.

not even close to funny. another of my best friends have died.

Mabelle,
My beautiful.

My beautiful, beautiful girl.

My beautiful kitten.

She died, today, last night.

i just got out of my feeling shitness. and fucking hell, its back with a vengeance.

Shes only a year and a half old.







isn't she a cutie..

i will miss her so much..

*wordless*

hahahaha i have a subscription!!

yayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayay!!!

this is very exciting.. im so happy, lol.

theres this band you should all check out, called stateless. they own all n00bs.

also, i am working on a pretty picture. of an emo.. kinda.. lol.

ill put it up as soon as im done.. =]

i still has a subscription.. xD

you know my ginger cat? who was a year old? he died a coupld of weeks back.. someone poisoned him and he died.. :'( [link]
thats him there. its really hard to explain what happened properly. but we had to get him put down cause his kidneys stopped working and then his throat and mouth got all blisters and stuff so he couldn't eat or drink or even swallow his own saliva.. :'(
I have been really depressed lately.. its really ood..
my headmaster at my school said that ben and i cannot go to the library together cause, i quote, "you could be having rampant sex in the public toilets." my school headmaster came up to ben and said that to his face in front of his friends. that BITCH! i hate him. i was so angry, i talked to some other teachers and got a meeting with him and told him off and got an appology from him. i thought it was just so inappropriate for a headmaster to say that to a student.
School is alright atm. i got a merit in my english.. at level 2!! {im supposed to be doing level 1} so im really proud of myself.. i was expecting to get achived at level 1.. i was really happy. I passed my science and maths exams, so im happy about that aswel.
ben and i have been going out for 6 months.. hes gonna get me a DA subscription for 6 months.. and i got him something i can't tell you what it is cause i haven't given it to him yet.
im doing alot of drawing lately.. more designs and stuff. imma post them on here sometime... they're really abstract..
I really like the new book im writing, all my friends and school LOVE it.. and can't want for me to write more and so on.. lol.. its much better than seven..

anyway.. how are you guys lives going? how are you feeling? hopefully better than me...

so i haven't updated this in AGES but oh well.. hi!!

ben got back on tuesday. and left again yesterday. hes been in chch for all of 5 days so far this year. i miss him. and love him. lol.

i have ben doing more writing.. but im not putting it on here. imma keep my novel to my self from now on.

but i am going to write a story and put each chapter on here as i write it. what do yeh think?

i did a reaaally kool drawing of my cat today. i just did it in orange, black and white pencil. i think it looks really good.. so imma post it on here soon..

how is everyone?

^^